Love and relationship

Rational and Irrational love

The determination of whether love I rational or irrational is somewhat a difficult task. However, Brogaard outlines some of the things that concern rationality of love in a very intelligent manner. Love is an emotional response and as such may or may not have reasons for a foundation. It means that it could be both rational and irrational. In some situations certain properties or attributes are required to maintain the perception of these emotions. Therefore, misperception of these properties may lead to irrationality.

In other situations, love may lose rationality if it denies lovers their happiness and well being. It is hard to determine whether love is rational or irrational if it is unconditional. However, in the world of fantasy, rationality is real. The following discussion illustrates situations where love can be considered rational or irrational.

Eric has a distant lover who they rarely meet. They are both committed in their duties but he always calls his lover to say hallo. His lover understands his situation and warmly welcomes him home when he comes back. They discuss their issues of emotional challenge and most surprisingly they fall in love and get satisfied. They live happily despite the physical difference. They have made a norm of togetherness and developed means of controlling their love emotions.

Harrez and Jane are two lovers who always walk together and do most of their chores together at home. Jane always complains when Harrez fails to assist her. In the last few weeks, Jane has been crying all through as Harrez do not help her any more as he is doing some farm chores. It has made Jane to think of going back to home. Her feelings towards her husband are true affection to her husband but they stand to be irrational.

John claims to love her wife Mercy very much. He provides her with all the necessary basic and luxurious life that he feel to meet her standard. Most surprisingly, he violates her sexual right by forcing her to have sexual affairs. He also gets drunk and fights her to an extent o injuring her. Mercy has been advised to divorce John but she says she cannot because she loves him. The illustration reflects an irrational love as mercy is treated with brutality by her husband.

Velleman and Kolodny theories

 Kolodny defines love as a revolution of relations. He believed that love is related to various variables that abide the parties. The variables, however fail to align towards the attitudes of the parties. The variables of love are usually vulnerable to each other. He visualizes love as emotional behavior of the parties towards each other. Velleman on the other hand views love as moral aspect of feelings among the partners. He says that love do not contradict as the partners believe in the philosophy of compassionate. He claims that love is seeing the other person appealing to by lowering the emotional guard. The qualities are dis-alarming and make the compassionate element between the two parties seem rational in nature.

While Velleman believe in a transcendent theory of the rationality of love Kolodny believes that love must have some history. According to Vellleman love is not founded on distinctive qualities and personal traits therefore everyone is equally lovable. In contrast, Kolodny seems to disagree with this and states that the reasons for love are more natural and hence loved ones cannot be replaced. Even though, they are seemingly indistinguishable. While Velleman stresses that love cannot give all even though it is depicted as capable of such in the fictional world, Kolodny argues that some situations can render love as either rational or irrational.

In comparison, there considerations to be made as regards to rationality of love. Velleman view that love is laden with obligations and complements that are hard to achieve. On the other hand, Kolodny view that love can be hard even with a bad past. In addition, both theories suggest that love is felt regardless of whether the loved ones are aware of this fact. This view is in the assumption that Kolodnys theory does not necessarily connote a past in love but rather any basic form of past relation that may have triggered.

Test for personality features

Many definitions have been made about love, what is your understanding of love?

Well, love is the deep affection that a person has towards someone else, or towards a thing. In many cases, love may be defined by thinking about someone else more than the way you think about yourself.

When do you meet?

We met sometimes back about 6yrs ago at a music festival when both of us were in high school. The first impression we developed on each other has brought us this far.

How would you depict that your partner loves you?

My partner always calls me sweet names and buys me gifts as a sign that I min the world to him. That is enough proof that am loved.

Do you like your marriage?

Yes. I love my marriage very much and am happy about all that we do.

Do you think your partner can cheat on you?

There are so many ways that can tell whether am loved or not. The kind of relationship we had at the beginning, or rather when we were dating should be the same love that exists between us. Anytime I learn that there are some things my partner has ceased doing to me, I have to ask myself many questions and search for the root course of the changed behavior.

What can you do when you found your partner cheating?

I would never want to think about that. I think I can go mad.

Is he faithful to you?

I guess yes although I cannot be sure because most of the time he is out at work.

Do you feel guilty when he is not there?

Yes of course. He is my partner and am restless anytime he is not with me. If I was asked, I would wish to spend every second of everyday by his side.

Do you suffer from domestic violence?

Domestic violence is common but I bet we have never experienced any, although am afraid it will happen someday.

Do you think you will break up?

Honestly no. He means the world to me and nothing will come between us.

Is your love irrational?

Am sorry to say it is. Sometimes he comes home moody and I do not understand him.

Is his love unconditional?

Am sorry to say it is. Sometimes I do not understand him as he comes up with so many conditions that he sets before me. I am forced to do things I am not supposed to just because I love and want to retain him.

How does he act when he is angry?

To be very sincere, I do not know what to say about that. My husband is too good but he is the worst person you would not want to see when he gets angry. Am telling you he can chew you alive so I always keep off when I detect a slight anger in him.

Do you like his company?

Yes and why not? He is my husband and my best friend for that matter. I like and enjoy his company so much because I feel secure, protected and loved. If you ask me, I would wish to have his company every second of everyday.

Would you fall for someone else?

I would never imagine it live alone falling in live itself. My husband is all I loved and if I was to start all over again, I would still chose him.

What do you like about love?

There is so much to like about love but the one thing that impresses me is when I realize I have someone who is always there to lean on when I need to. I also like someone who loves me and appreciates me the way I am.

Would you encourage other people to fall in love?

Well, people don’t choose whether to fall in love or not, it comes automatically. I cannot advice anyone against love but I can only advice them to be very careful and know the kind of people they fall in live with.