Though a ceremony like the one of the Northern Ojibwa may seem extreme, I understand Cooley’s position. It is a way to go out with honor and pride with respect from his people. Nobody wants to leave this life needing someone to take care of them, such as changing their diapers, feeding them, or bathing them. There is a level of pride is justifiable with old age. Believe there is dignity in knowing how to accept the help from others when it is needed. A few years ago, was present when my grandfather, Blair, passed away. He lived a full life and was an honest man.
He was happily married for 65 years and raised four intelligent, loving children. The day he past the whole family was at the hospital. Even though the emotions were high, my grandfather’s calming aura settled in the room. Believe my grandfather know he was going out with dignity as his children stood around him honoring his life while he was taking his last breath. I did not realize how much I look up and admire my grandfather’s life. The last couple months of his life he spent in a nursing home. He graciously accepted the much needed help. Like every other stage in life aging is a process.
I believe many people in old age move from a place of denial of their capabilities to a place of acceptance of their limitations. Cooley suggests that there is a time when every aging person experiences the limitations and aliments of one’s own body. In his essay he shares an experience he has when he almost got into a car accident. The other man gets out of the car ready to fight but walks away once he saw Cooley was an older man. Cooley did not want to accept that maybe it was the old age that was causing him to be more weary behind the wheel. In the allowing paragraph he goes on to describe a woman offering him a seat on the bus.
He initially declines the offer. As this scenario continues throughout the years he eventually takes the offer and is glad he could rest. These two experiences Cooley shares clearly shows his slow process into acceptance. Initially, he was in denial and angry that someone thought of him as old and unable to function properly behind the wheel. Then, years later he accepts the offer for a seat on the bus. Cooley’s process reminds me of one of my own. When my parents told me that they were “cutting me off’ and expected e to be fully self-sufficient, I went through a similar process.
At first was in complete denial that my parents would actually do such a thing until they refused to give me money. Was angry and thought it to be unfair. I was very unhappy for a while until accepted my situation and embraced my independence. At this point in my life, I am currently creating a life for my future. I am just beginning to form my personal identity for who I am and who am going to be. We as humans, spend years even decades shaping who we are and making meaningful, identifiable attachments to the world around us.
Aging individuals are remembered for their careers, accomplishments, and successes. Once they arrive to the final stage of life, with less to look forward to, they struggle to keep the idea of who they used to be alive. Cooley mentions, “the men and Women envy are those who accept Old age as a series of new challenges. ” I believe that this is Cooley expressing his inability to let go of his old capabilities. I believe it is crucial to be able to let go of who you use to be and focus on who you are in the present moment. I struggled a lot with letting my old self go. A recovering addict and while Vive been clean, have had difficulty identifying who I am as a person with my past actions. I gained so much freedom from closing the door on my past but remembering those experiences to strengthen my future. For many, trying to maintain one’s old identity is an unfortunate reality, but there are those that embrace the new challenges of old age. Cooley’s essay, “A View from 8(Y’ gave me an entire new standpoint on aging people. After reflecting on his essay, I came to understand the trials and tribulations that the elderly experience.
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