Active Listening

Active listening is a form of listening where both listening and speaking are combined. When active listening is employed, it depicts a new level of understanding. It is especially useful when the two conflicting parties do not feel understood or do not understand each other (Cardon, 47). The listening party should participate in the listening by mirroring or reflecting what the conflicting parties are saying. By so doing, the listening party offers more information on what is left unsaid.

I have employed this form of listening once. This time, it was between two of my friends. These two friends are roommates who live in a two bedroom apartment and split the rent. This arrangement was initiated as a result of their need to get access to cheap accommodation near their college. I usually visit them regularly. On this day however, I found them in an intense argument on how each of them contributes to their arrangement other than paying the rent. Joe felt that he was always being made to do all the chores in the house and that Ryan is too lazy. On the other hand, Ryan felt that he pays for everything in the house and that he felt exploited when Joe insisted that he should do the chores.

Initially, I found the bulk of the argument being based on the chores.  Joe wanted me to contribute and he started explaining to me what happened. As soon as he had finished explaining the situation, I paraphrased the information to Ryan. I however noted that Joe was not in the mood for discussing the matter and became inviting to him by asking him to explain his side of the story. As he spoke, I reflected most of his message to him and his friend. They were both sharing the information that they had initially had withheld from each other. At the end of the message, I realized that they both felt cheated. I offered guidance until they eventually offered to appreciate each other and to split the bill at the beginning of the month. Joe wanted to contribute but always found that the friend had settled most of the bills. On the other hand, they offered to contribute towards paying someone to do the chores since they were both very tired when they reached the house. They however both apologized to each other for withholding the matters for too long.

Without active listening, none of my two friends would have succeeded in making themselves heard. Active listening provided an ability to identify the bulk of the Matter and to help work towards resolving the matter. Notably, active listening is a very important aspect of communication. It motivates the parties in conflict to speak out and share the most important matters as they are. The speaking part of active speaking is very important in ensuring that this is achieved. When people listen actively, they give confidence to the parties in conflict that a solution is underway. They therefore share every aspect of the conflict that they feel should be resolved along with the rest of the conflict. I intend to use this method of listening in every aspect of my life and to improve my ability to lead (Dowling, and Chiquet, 30). People want to be understood. With good listening skills, people are likely to do well in various aspects of their lives.

Works Cited

Cardon, Peter W. Business Communication. New York: McGraw-Hill Irwin, 2014. Print.

Dowling, Daisy Wademan, and Chiquet, Maureen. “The best advice I ever got.” (2008): 30.